I miss Delhi. There, I said it. I cribbed and whined my way through life in the city, yet now, sitting here in the hotel lounge in Hyderabad, I cannot stop thinking about all the fun we had in Delhi–the amazing people who became friends and family, the fun house parties, the seemingly endless list of things to do and people to meet in the city, our cute little apartment, our friendly neighbours, weekend trips, and most importantly, Kutty, the love of my life.
It breaks my heart that I couldn’t bring her along with me to Hyderabad. I tried, but she was never my dog to begin with. She belonged to the neighbourhood, she loved to prowl the entire expanse of the apartment complex and she had her own pack, her territory, her family and her human friends who would feed her, play with her and take care of her. I tried to turn her into a house dog for two days, took her on walks on a leash around the very areas she calls home, and she loathed it. She cried, whimpered, got so anxious and restless, and all she wanted to do was get out of home and be free again, so she ran away. I did see her the next day, but she refused to spend time at our apartment; she ate, slept and scooted out. And she seemed happier doing that.
You know, we think dogs need us, that they need to be rescued. But that’s a very warped notion and is patronising. No, they don’t need us to rescue them, they’re happy being on their own, they are largely independent and know how to survive. I’m talking about streeties and indies here, they’re shrewd and intelligent creatures and are friendly too. My problem was that I was becoming too emotionally attached to Kutty and thought that taking her would be the best option. But I was being selfish. I needed her, and felt that I wouldn’t get through life without her. She clearly did not think so!Gosh, I miss that little ball of fur though.
The rest of the stuff worked as per plan. We drove down from Delhi to Hyderabad over two days – crossed places I’d never known existed, spent a night at a shady hotel, ate alongside truck drivers at deserted highway dhabas, revelled in gorgeous landscapes, and went past some first-class roads all through Madhya Pradesh and Telangana. It really was an epic road trip, and I’m glad we made it. We drove through six states (if you count Gurgaon (Haryana) and Delhi), crossed a major part of UP and slipped into MP and then Maharashtra, before hitting Telangana. Kutty refused to even get in the car, so I have no idea what I was thinking when I decided to take her. I’m convinced I did the right thing, although I cant help tearing up a bit every time I think of her.
We have found an apartment in Hyderabad, but are currently staying in a hotel till our things arrive. M goes to the new office every day, and I spend all my time holed up in the hotel. It is depressing, I sometimes wish I could have my old life back. And since there isn’t much to do, I get worried, anxious and by now, I’ve turned into a full-fledged hypochondriac; I’m convinced that I’m slowly dying, and I have some undiagnosed disease. It’s driving me up the wall, and all I want now is an assurance from a doctor that I’m perfectly fine.
So yeah, not the kind of start that I was hoping for, but I do hope I get out of this rut soon and begin to see the good side of life in this new city that I’m trying to love.
Paperback writer 