Ghosts of blogs past

I spend a large part of my ‘work-time’ these days dealing with a severe case of writer’s block. Of course, once I start with the lede and the first few sentences, the rest of the article flows easily. But I constantly find myself looking for that elusive perfect start. Which is why blogging is so much more relaxing. I ramble on with little regard for grammar and good writing, and I find it really satisfying, especially when I’m sharing personal stories I wouldn’t normally do when I meet someone in person.

So today I was going through some cringeworthy stuff I wrote more than 10 years ago. I’m talking about 2003 here. Since I’m more than willing to embarrass myself, here is the link to my ‘wannabe’ profile on this forum – with links to 5 articles I wrote – called mouthshut.com, which was quite the rage back then, along with Orkut.

http://www.mouthshut.com/rubbermouth/

Also, this earlier blog where I wax eloquent about Camus, absurdism, holidays in Bangalore (the post was featured in the Bangalore Mirror apparently) and other deep stuff.

http://philosophycomescheap.blogspot.in/

I’m re-reading them to get an idea about how much – or if at all – I have grown over the last ten years, emotionally and intellectually. Also, trying to gauge my writing objectively to see if I’m doing any better now, after a decade. I suggest you read them too, for pure entertainment, if nothing else.

Pet peeves -2: Humblebragging

There’s a new crop of people I have been coming across of late. I couldn’t quite explain their type articulately until Urbandictionary came to my rescue with the genius term ‘humblebrag’ which, in my opinion, best describes this species. Here’s Urbandictionary nailing it:

Subtly letting others now about how fantastic your life is while undercutting it with a bit of self-effacing humor or “woe is me” gloss.

“Uggggh just ate about fifteen piece of chocolate gotta learn to control myself when flying first class or they’ll cancel my modelling contract LOL :p #humblebrag”

Well, the above example is just a mild case of humblebragging. And as you might have guessed, there are various degrees, depending on your tolerance levels. And my tolerance for fake, pretentious people has hit an all-time low. Which is one of the perks of growing up, I guess.

But I must admit that when some of my friends ‘humblebrag’ on social media and outside of it, I often wonder if I must call their bluff or just let them be. Like this girl who just wouldn’t stop talking about how incredibly busy she is, now that she has a new job and ends every phone call with, oh I have to go for a party now. Or some of my single friends who complain that every guy who talks to them is hitting on them. Or this girl I know who serves average food at parties and gracefully accepts compliments on her cooking skills that come her way, even when the food is clearly not worthy of praise. Okay, I’m majorly nitpicking now, but you get the drift right?

What baffles me is that these ‘humblebraggers’ get appreciated by people more often than people like me who are actually good at stuff (yeah, I’m not humble by any stretch of imagination). Maybe it’s a case of you-scratch-my-back-I-scratch-yours. I don’t like this phenomenon, and I do not wish to participate in any backscratching exercises. Because I am a doer. No, honestly. I mean it in a very matter-of-fact way, as someone who knows myself really well.

I believe in letting my work do the talking. I’d rather bake you an amazing brownie than talk about how great I’m at cooking. I don’t go around publicising my work (or even my blog posts) on social media for the same reason. See, if you are good at your work and other things, it shows. People will recognise it, and appreciate you where it matters. It shows that they trust you and your abilities; that they respect you as a person.

They are aware that you know your shit and you’re not full of shit. Sorry, couldn’t resist it. So you owe it to yourself to churn out work of more epic awesomeness every single time. That’s the kind of brand I want to build for myself – someone who’s great at whatever she does, someone who is reliable and hands-on. I want to be known as someone who gets work done, not someone who simply talks about how cool she is. And I’m proud of myself for getting by without ‘humblebragging’ and ‘backscratching’. Ah, sometimes it frustrates me to no end that I almost want to shake these humblebraggers in my life and tell them: ‘You know what, you suck. You are flattering yourself, you poor delusional soul.’ But I try to be civil and more socially appropriate.

I wonder why we are stuck up on praise, sympathy, compliments? Are we doing things to please people and hence, gain their appreciation or are we doing it for ourselves, irrespective of whether we are noticed or not? That’s another internal conflict. On one hand, I don’t want to brag about my work and skills; but I also want people to notice me and compliment me. But they’ll never know I’m good at something until I publicise it, which contradicts my first point. You see the problem there? Clarity, I need clarity.

In other news, I almost ran into a pole while on my evening walk today, because I was staring at an airplane in the sky, trying to figure out which airline it belongs to. I catch myself staring at people on the road randomly. I’m constantly knocking over furniture and dropping things – mostly my phone. I am worried for myself. I checked the most reliable source in the world – Google – and realised that I have probably had Huntington’s disease all my life. Or even dyspraxia. Also I took a Buzzfeed quiz which confirmed that I have OCD. Well, turning 30 is clearly not going to be a breeze for yours truly.